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507: You Made a God Out of Safety and Control. Dr. Alison Cook on Secure Attachment to God, Why Control Is Fear in Disguise, the Wilderness That Strips Our Scaffolding, and the Codependency We Call Sacrificial Love

Podcast · August 19, 2026

You would never call it worship. You’d call it being responsible. But look at what you organize your life around, what you reach for the second the ground shifts, the thing you cannot fall asleep without having settled. You have built an altar to certainty, and you bow at it every time fear whispers that if you could just get control of this, you’d finally be safe. It isn’t faith. It’s control wearing faith’s clothing, and underneath it is a version of you who learned a long time ago that holding everything together was the only way not to get hurt. Dr. Alison Cook joins me for a conversation that goes straight underneath that pattern.

A therapist, host of The Best of You podcast, and author of the new book The Secure Soul, Dr. Alison Cook has spent two decades helping people tell the difference between security and certainty, and see why the two were never the same thing. We talk about what it means to be held by a God whose first gift is not a map but His presence, about the control we mistake for faith and the caretaking we mistake for love, and about the wilderness seasons that strip away every scaffolding we built to feel safe so that something truer can finally hold us.

If you are the strong one, the capable one, quietly white-knuckling a life that looks impressive from the outside and feels hollow underneath, this conversation will not hand you a better way to manage it. It will ask you to take your hands off the thing you have been worshiping. To let yourself be seen before you have earned it, loved before you have fixed it, held before you have figured any of it out. The security you are aching for is real. It was never on the other side of control; it is found in the presence of the One who has never once asked you to carry it alone, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light.

Dr. Alison Cook’s Bio

Dr. Alison Cook is a therapist and the host of the top-ranked The Best of You podcast, where she helps people heal past wounds, develop a strong sense of self, and experience a God who is for them. She earned her BA at Dartmouth College, her MA at Denver Seminary, and her PhD at the University of Denver, where she specialized in integrating psychology and theology. Certified in Internal Family Systems, she is the author of The Best of You, coauthor of Boundaries for Your Soul, and the author of the new book The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn’t Come Easy.

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Resources Mentioned This Week

  • The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn’t Come Easy
  • Healing What You Can’t Erase: Transform Your Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health from the Inside Out

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Previous Post: « 506: You Act Like You Are Your Own God. You Just Haven’t Admitted It Yet. Dr. Chris Palmer on Practical Polytheism, the Nihilism Nobody Names, Self-Centered Spirituality, and What a World Without God Actually Feels Like.

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The Latest Content

  • 507: You Made a God Out of Safety and Control. Dr. Alison Cook on Secure Attachment to God, Why Control Is Fear in Disguise, the Wilderness That Strips Our Scaffolding, and the Codependency We Call Sacrificial Love
  • 506: You Act Like You Are Your Own God. You Just Haven’t Admitted It Yet. Dr. Chris Palmer on Practical Polytheism, the Nihilism Nobody Names, Self-Centered Spirituality, and What a World Without God Actually Feels Like.
  • 505: We’d Rather Trick Ourselves Than Train Ourselves. Geoffrey Cain on Steve Jobs’s 12-Year Wilderness, the Death of Ego, How Failure Became the Foundation for the iPhone, and What It Takes to Go from Volatile to Disciplined
  • 504: You’ve Turned Jesus Into a Good Luck Charm. Bethany Wohrle on What Grief Feels Like in the Body, A Sacrifice of Praise, What to Do With Foreboding Fear, Releasing Outcomes While Still Holding Your Faith, and Why Ignorance Is Not Bliss
  • 503: Are You Maturing or Just Aging? Father Ronald Rolheiser on the Three Critical Phases of Life, Why the Wilderness Happens, Why Bitterness is an Occupational Hazard, and the Grief That Carries You Through the Second Half of Life.

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