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432: Are You Self-Sabotaging Your Growth? Dr. Curt Thompson Unpacks Anticipated Abandonment, Why You’re Startled Lately, Rugged Flexibility, and How Attention Shapes Identity

Podcast · March 19, 2025

What if the way you pay attention is shaping who you’re becoming? What if your deepest fears of being abandoned—whether real or anticipated—are keeping you locked in patterns of anxiety, shame, and self-protection? Today, Dr. Curt Thompson joins us to unpack the profound ways our minds and relationships shape our formation. We’re talking about anticipated abandonment, the neuroscience of attachment, and how to cultivate rugged flexibility in the face of life’s uncertainties. Dr. Thompson, a psychiatrist and expert in interpersonal neurobiology, reveals how the way we focus our attention—consciously or not—rewires our brains and forms our identity. If you’ve ever felt stuck in relational wounds or struggled to trust God and others, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • Why anticipated abandonment keeps us stuck in fear and self-protection
  • The neuroscience behind shame and relational wounds
  • How rugged flexibility helps us navigate pain without losing hope
  • Why we become what we pay attention to—and how to shift our focus for transformation

This is a deep, thought-provoking conversation that will challenge how you see yourself, your relationships, and your faith.

Guest Bio

Dr. Curt Thompson is a psychiatrist, speaker, and author whose work explores the intersection of neuroscience and spiritual formation, helping people understand how their stories—especially those shaped by shame, attachment wounds, and fear—are wired into their brains. As the founder of The Center for Being Known, he equips individuals to rewire their minds, cultivate resilience, and experience deep, embodied connection with God and others. Through his books, including The Soul of Shame and The Soul of Desire, and his clinical work in interpersonal neurobiology, Dr. Thompson reveals how we become what we pay attention to—and how healing is possible through intentional, connected living.

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Guest Links

Website | Instagram

Resources Mentioned This Week

  • Healing What You Can’t Erase: Transform Your Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health from the Inside Out
  • The Deepest Place: Suffering and the Formation of Hope

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Filed Under: Podcast

Previous Post: « 431: Jamie Winship on Lucky Charm, Life Coach Jesus and What Most People TOTALLY Miss in Discipleship
Next Post: 433: The Art of Lament: Aubrey Sampson on Our Weird Pressure to Perform for God, and Why We Have Yet to Be Formed by Mystery in Loss »

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