453: You’re Not Humble, You’re Hiding. Dr. Les Parrott and Judah Smith Unpack How Humility Becomes Self-Hatred, The Nuclear Power of Spiritual Bypassing, and Why Your Job is Not to Heal Publicly

There’s a humility you carry like baggage, and it’s slowly wearing you down. This week, Dr. Les Parrott and Judah Smith join me to dismantle the false humility that masquerades as godliness while laundering shame. Humility becomes self-hatred when vulnerability is avoided and spiritual high-mindedness is mistaken for healing. Layer on top the epidemic of spiritual bypassing—pretending everything is okay—and you get a reluctance to ever speak of pain.

We unpack why your job is not to heal publicly, how real accountability looks different than performance, and why refusing to stay in the box of pretense is the most subversive spiritual act you can commit. Whether you’ve preached from the platform or hidden behind faith walls, this episode cuts through your shame fortress and lights a path to emotional and spiritual freedom.

This episode will help you:

• Identify the difference between godly humility and self-hatred
• Recognize spiritual bypassing in your life and community
• Learn why public healing isn’t your only call—intimacy and truth are better
• Break out of the box of pretense without abandoning sacred boundaries
• Walk with authenticity that’s rooted in grace, not guilt

Guest Bios

Dr. Leslie Parrott, PhD, is a respected marriage therapist, New York Times bestselling author, and speaker repeatedly named among the most influential Christian leaders in America. His decades of pastoral counseling affirm that unchecked humility often masks self-hatred, and that community healing begins when we stop bypassing pain with platitudes.

Judah Smith is the lead pastor of Churchome (Seattle) and a New York Times bestselling author known for messages that combine cultural relevance with theological clarity. His personal journey through public ministry and private emotional loss fuels compelling insight into spiritual pretense, real humility, and the courage to be emotionally honest.

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Guest Links

Dr. Les Parrott: Website | Instagram | Facebook

Judah Smith: Website | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook

Resources Mentioned This Week

• Bad Thoughts: A Preacher and a Shrink’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Mind and Soul
• Healing What You Can’t Erase: Transform Your Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health from the Inside Out

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