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519: Cheating Starts Long Before the Affair. Carl and Laura Lentz on Life Six Years After They Hit Rock Bottom, How to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity, Why They Stayed, and Why Healing Has No Clock

Podcast · November 11, 2026

There’s a version of you that only you know about, and you’ve gotten very good at managing the distance between that person and the one everyone else sees. Maybe it isn’t an affair. Maybe it’s a search history, a habit you swear is under control, or one locked room in your heart you walk past every Sunday on the way into worship. If you’re honest, the concealment didn’t begin with your spouse; it began the day you decided the Lord didn’t need to hear about it either. Six years after the news of infidelity left their marriage in pieces, Carl and Laura Lentz join me to talk about what rebuilding has actually cost.

Carl traces the collapse past the headlines to its first building block, secrecy, and makes a confession that should stop every one of us cold: before he lied to Laura, he lied to himself, and before he lied to himself, he lied to God. Laura names what betrayal does to a person’s discernment, why trust returns through evidence rather than promises, and why it took her three years to say, “I forgive you.”

If something in you is living in the dark right now, this conversation won’t let you keep calling it privacy. Healing has no clock, but it does have a starting line, and it’s the next thing you stop hiding from the Lord.

About Carl & Laura Lentz

Carl Lentz is a thought leader, cohost of the popular Lights On podcast, and sought-after speaker at churches and conferences. For years, he and his wife, Laura, led Hillsong NYC, one of the world’s most influential churches. Today, he works as a church consultant and coach focused on helping others recover and reclaim their identity after marital failures, addictions, and other personal crises. He is the author of Own the Moment: How to Live a Spiritual Life in a Secular World.

Laura Lentz is a writer, co-host of the popular Lights On podcast, and former ministry leader with more than twenty years of experience walking alongside women and families through seasons of big personal change. For years, she and her husband, Carl, led Hillsong NYC, one of the world’s most influential churches. Today, she coaches women to heal from betrayal, rebuild trust, find their voice, and grow into the fullness of who they were created to be. Overcoming Infidelity is Laura’s first book.

Together, they reside with their three children in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

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Connect with Carl & Laura Lentz

Carl’s Instagram | Laura’s Instagram | YouTube | Podcast (Spotify) | Podcast (Apple)

Resources Mentioned This Week

  • Overcoming Infidelity: 10 Conversations to Help You Heal the Hurt
  • Healing What You Can’t Erase: Transform Your Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health from the Inside Out

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Previous Post: « 518: Owning Your Story Won’t Heal It. Stasi Eldredge on Breaking Agreements With Lies, Honoring Your Story, Receiving the Love of Jesus, Healing After Betrayal, and Knowing God Rather Than Knowing About Him

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