Why We Absolutely Must Stop Living a Digital Life

Too many of us are living in a glass bubble of illusion in an effort to show ourselves strong to a world that really isn’t paying attention. Deep down, I’m convinced we’re possessed by the pressure to jumpstart the mundane and numb the fear of not being good enough fast enough. And so the portraits of our daily lives are hung upon hooks of comparison, insecurity, and fantasy.

I’m certain there is a better way to live because that one is a far cry from reality.

The Real World

Here’s my question: what’s stopping you and me from nurturing the actual life we are living—for the good and the difficult—in favor of exerting energy and focus towards the polished, digital life we gravitate towards each day? For the majority of us, tucked behind the pictures and stories we portray publicly is a less-than-Pleasantville life that rarely makes headlines.

I’ll go first and raise my hand. I’ve done it.

Think with me for a moment. Wouldn’t it be something if we published our candid life as much as our posed life? We both know that our relationship hurdles, our frustrations at the office, and our insecurities as men and women will never make the best photo ops.

What rarely makes those pictures is a pile of dirty laundry and a less-than-perfect yard. And what definitely isn’t in the picture is our sleep-deprived, real-life-worn, puffy eyes and our achy muscles.

Those pictures don’t light up the news feed.

But at least they represent a complete picture of real life; a real life that is valid and totally normal.

Debunking the Digital “Pleasantville” Life

What I’m after is unpacking the reason we’re drawn to the portraits of the “Pleasantville” life (and even more compelled to capture it). Could it be boredom with the state of our daily lives? Could it be disappointment or apathy? Or could it be insecurity that fuels competition against the rest of the digital world.

In all cases, it’s a distraction that’s keeping us stuck in a fantasy and at an arms-length from the authentic (and imperfect) life we should be pursuing. Even worse, it’s a distraction that gives us the emotional payoff of progress while truthfully we’re actually just spinning our wheels.

Scroll. Double-tap.
Scroll. Like.
Scroll. Stare.

An hour later…

Stuck Like Glue

One of the reasons I believe we get stuck in life is because we’re shadowboxing in a competition that doesn’t actually exist. And with each flailing jab and right hook, we’re swinging at the air. Why? Because I’d bet a shiny penny that everyone else is swinging for the same invisible target.

And it’s prevalent amongst men and women alike.

For the Fellas

Men, listen up. I know our internal wiring incites a drive to compete (and to win), but if I may offer this piece of peace: more than your attainment of something, don’t lose sight of who you’re becoming. Dump the distractions. The people in our lives need our honest, transparent, vulnerable heart as much as they need our muscle and inner fortitude. And one more thing: in your conquest to be your lady’s knight-in-shining-armor, don’t become so enamored with the logistics of purist that you miss her entirely.

Listen-Up, Ladies

Women, I have something for you, too. Drop the weight of trying to live a “heart is full” digital life.  Just be you. If the people in your life are up to the task of unearthing the treasure that you are in the sheer simplicity of your design (yes, including the parts you don’t love), they are the keepers.

FOMO is the New YOLO

You see, somewhere along the line, we started living reactionary lives, and as a culture, began measuring our total worth and value upon the amount of “likes,” hearts, views, and comments generated by the all-consuming digital machine.

Somehow, we lost our wide-eyed wonder in discovering the awesomeness of our individual uniqueness and traded it in for a reduced life herded and corralled by the fear of missing out on what everyone else is having.

In a text message conversation with my friend, Brigitte, last Thursday, she said, “[We need to] step away from technology and just live life. We legitimately don’t know what a day without technology would feel like and I bet a lot of us are even scared to try. FOMO is pretty real.”

She’s absolutely right.

Welcome the Identity Crisis

Yet in the process of living this distracted lifestyle, we’re inviting insidious, whispered taunts into our lives: I’m not good enough. I’m missing something. I always make the wrong choice. I’m not smart enough. And so instead of using our time and energy to discover and live from our true identity, we live through the lens of “less than.” All lies. But the trouble is that a believed lie empowers those falsities to become real to us.

So what’s stopping you from creating the actual life you want to live instead of the all-consuming digital life you gravitate towards each day?

Brigitte confidently stated that it’s time to flip over the phones once in a while in favor of the real life you’re building with real people. Celebrate the highs. Don’t ignore the lows. But let it all be real and lived-out in authenticity.

Last Friday, I did just that. And it was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time with one of the most important people in my life.

Try it for yourself and let me know what happened in the comment section below.